LoftwahFM Radio sleeve: a worn tuning console and reel of tape

LoftwahFM Radio

Choose a music station or hear the presenters. Published shows collect both below.

Cartridge Club

Chiptune swing and instrumental hip hop for another round.

Finding the signal…

LoftwahFM

LoftwahFM
Music only25 items in rotationStation linkOpen station embed
Loading audio
Finding the signal…
LoftwahFMCartridge Club
0:00
0:00

Hear the presenters

Skip straight to the talking. Play a segment, read its transcript, or keep listening to the spoken parts of its show.

Smoko Circuit

Smoko Circuit — Member Benefits

Nessa Sparks and Daryl Pike · 0:11 · ident

Read transcript: Smoko Circuit — Member Benefits

Recorded 10 October 2026. Synthetic presenters; original fiction. Sources below distinguish the dated research premise or background inspiration from invented actions. NESSA: Smoko Circuit. Nessa Sparks. We've got good records and the phone's working again. DARYL: Mine isn't. NESSA: I can hear you, Daryl. DARYL: Yeah, but you haven't answered my email.

Segment link: Smoko Circuit — Member Benefits

The exit interview

Nessa Sparks and Daryl Pike · 0:36 · banter

Read transcript: The exit interview

Recorded 10 October 2026. Synthetic presenters; original fiction. Sources below distinguish the dated research premise or background inspiration from invented actions. DARYL: I cancelled the gym. NESSA: Congratulations. How? DARYL: They said use the app. App said ring reception. NESSA: And reception? DARYL: Said use the app. So I've brought reception home. NESSA: What? DARYL: The little desk. Fits next to the freezer. NESSA: You stole their desk? DARYL: Borrowed. When they process the cancellation, they get reception back. NESSA: You cannot hold a desk hostage. DARYL: It's not a hostage. It's an exit interview. NESSA: Is anybody sitting behind it? DARYL: My brother. He's doing memberships. NESSA: Give them the desk back. DARYL: After they stop the payments. NESSA: I'll ring them. DARYL: You'll get my brother.

Background: Background: ACCC subscription-trap findings, 25 August 2026; checked 10 October. This gym and caller story are invented.
Segment link: The exit interview

Hold Mate

Nessa Sparks and Daryl Pike · 0:27 · Fictional ad

Read transcript: Hold Mate

Recorded 10 October 2026. Synthetic presenters; original fiction. Sources below distinguish the dated research premise or background inspiration from invented actions. NESSA: Need someone to stay on hold? Hold Mate keeps your place in the queue while you get on with your life. DARYL: What if they answer? NESSA: A trained operator calls you. DARYL: So I'm on hold for him. NESSA: Briefly. DARYL: He has music? NESSA: Yes. DARYL: What's he playing? NESSA: We offer three— DARYL: Any Loftwah? NESSA: That's our station, Daryl. DARYL: Then why am I paying for him? NESSA: You're not. You're interrupting the ad. DARYL: Will he ring the gym? NESSA: Not if you've taken its reception.

Segment link: Hold Mate

Pool service

Nessa Sparks and Daryl Pike · 0:35 · banter · Explicit

Enable explicit segments above to listen.

Read transcript: Pool service

Recorded 10 October 2026. Synthetic presenters; original fiction. Sources below distinguish the dated research premise or background inspiration from invented actions. NESSA: Quick one, Daryl. Did you put that estate gate back? DARYL: Half. NESSA: Half a gate? DARYL: One side. They won't open my emails. NESSA: Don't take anything else. DARYL: I'm not. Pool people came round. NESSA: What pool people? DARYL: I rang for a quote. NESSA: You don't have a pool. DARYL: I pay the levy. I'm measuring. NESSA: The estate pool? DARYL: They can move anything now. Saw a whole house go past Tuesday. NESSA: That is not the same. DARYL: Water'll slow them down. I've allowed for that. NESSA: Leave the fucking pool where it is. DARYL: Fair. What about the diving board? NESSA: Music. We're playing music.

Segment link: Pool service

Dead Air Department

Dead Air Department — Press Start

Mick Relay and Jules Patch · 0:11 · ident

Read transcript: Dead Air Department — Press Start

Recorded 10 October 2026. Synthetic presenters; original fiction. Sources below distinguish the dated research premise or background inspiration from invented actions. MICK: You're with Mick and Jules at the Dead Air Department. Jules is choosing the records. I'm checking the equipment. JULES: He means watching the little lights. MICK: They're diagnostic. JULES: Yeah. That one's the kettle.

Segment link: Dead Air Department — Press Start

Press Start

Mick Relay and Jules Patch · 0:45 · banter · Explicit

Enable explicit segments above to listen.

Read transcript: Press Start

Recorded 10 October 2026. Synthetic presenters; original fiction. Sources below distinguish the dated research premise or background inspiration from invented actions. MICK: Someone's finally put the game-building agents through a proper test. JULES: Did they play the games? MICK: Yes. Controls, mechanics, the look of it. Forty-one reference games. JULES: Good. Open yours. MICK: Mine's still building. JULES: It was building when I got here. MICK: It's doing the economy. JULES: It's a racing game. MICK: Prize money. Upgrades. Sponsorship. JULES: Can I drive the car? MICK: Not yet. JULES: What happens if I press Start? MICK: Don't— JULES: Nothing. MICK: You've interrupted it. JULES: I've clicked one fucking button, Mick. MICK: It needs to finish. JULES: Alright. Put some music on. Tell me when I can drive. MICK: You can choose a paint colour. JULES: I'm not paying for a car I can't move. MICK: They're all free. JULES: Fine. Red. Wake me up when it's a game.

SWE-Game preprint v3, 7 October 2026
Segment link: Press Start

The snare is not finished

Mick Relay and Jules Patch · 0:34 · banter

Read transcript: The snare is not finished

Recorded 10 October 2026. Synthetic presenters; original fiction. Sources below distinguish the dated research premise or background inspiration from invented actions. JULES: ARIA set its AI chart rules in August twenty twenty-six. Generated lead performances don't qualify. Production tools can. MICK: Does that stop anyone playing the record? JULES: Their FAQ says no. MICK: Right. Play yours. JULES: Not finished. I'm replacing the snare. MICK: You replaced it yesterday. JULES: It was too clean. MICK: And this one? JULES: Too dirty. MICK: You keep telling me to finish the game. JULES: Your car needs wheels. My record needs a snare. MICK: There. That's the new one. JULES: That's you closing the cupboard. MICK: It's got weight. JULES: Send it to me.

ARIA AI chart FAQs — rules effective August 2026; checked 10 October 2026
Segment link: The snare is not finished

Manual Override

Mick Relay and Jules Patch · 0:22 · Fictional ad

Read transcript: Manual Override

Recorded 10 October 2026. Synthetic presenters; original fiction. Sources below distinguish the dated research premise or background inspiration from invented actions. MICK: Manual Override. A qualified person will click Approve on your behalf. JULES: What qualified person? MICK: Me. JULES: What am I paying for? MICK: Name, date, somebody to ring if it goes wrong. JULES: So I ring you. MICK: I've got a separate number. JULES: Is it switched on? MICK: During business hours. JULES: It's half one. MICK: You're buying accountability, Jules. Not a mate.

Background inspiration only: AWS release-management preview, 17 June 2026. Manual Override is invented.
Segment link: Manual Override

Published shows

Original radio, collected by edition. Open a show to hear its music and spoken segments.

Smoko Circuit — Member Benefits

Smoko Circuit · · 31 min · 11 parts

Open show

Dead Air Department — Press Start

Dead Air Department · · 31 min · 11 parts

Open show
Browse the releasesBuild a music widgetBack to the album player